Hand To The Tide

“Some things you forget. Other things you never do.” — Toni Morrison, Beloved

“In the end it’s fear that drowns you” — Anne Sexton

The new album, As We Once Were, is an album that considers the things that fundamentally shape us: loss, trauma, parenthood, change.

For the longest time I had wanted to write about a tragic loss that has cast a dark shadow across my whole life and family: When I was very young, my uncle, his wife, and their young child (my cousin) were tragically killed in a freak tidal accident and the trauma of this has resonated across my entire life, through my mother, and through the broader family.

The long shadow of these losses hugely impacted my growing up as my Mum tried very hard to shield us from her intense grief. She tried not to cry in front of us. She tried to normalise the police and helicopter search. The midnight awakening to rush across country as the news broke. My parents tried their best to shield us from the unfolding horror. But of course this was an impossible concept when you are processing such a thing and as a child you are so intrinsically connected to the physiological state of your mother.

From my reading into the concept of ‘generational trauma’ I have also discovered the scientific basis to what now seems like a fruitless endeavour. The trauma of the mother leaves biological traces in the child, or what we call ‘epigenetic pathways’. And I feel it even now when I listen back to the song. A deep grief and pain that doesn’t measure up to how little time I had to know these people.

Writing this song was a careful exercise in preserving the privacy of those who this also deeply impacted, while giving myself reign to explore the event that marked the end of any kind of innocence and childhood.

It is a very special song to me and I hope you find much to explore within its depths that resonates with you also…

‘Hand To The Tide’ was written & produced by myself, mixed by Mikko Gordon (Idles, The Smile) and also mixed in Dolby Atmos by Lewis Chapman.

The track goes full on prog/math-rock courtesy of the incredible instrumental skills of Tim Elsenberg from Sweet Billy Pilgrim who was also an integral part of this song finally seeing the light of day.

You can hear the Atmos mix via:

• Apple Music

• Amazon Music Unlimited

• Tidal

found.ee/HandToTheTide

Out now, ‘Hand To The Tide’ is the final teaser track from the new album before it’s released next Friday August 7th.

Order your copy of As We Once Were here: found.ee/AsWeOnceWere